Recently I have been falling in love with writing poems, especially poems about and to the Lord. I thought I’d share some of my jumbled thoughts that I’ve written on nearby napkins, loose pages and scribbles in my journal.
In all honesty, right now the biggest ministry I’m doing is in my heart. I am in a season where I have tunnel vision to the Father and it is easy to fall in love with every inch of life when you are falling in love with Him. So here are a few jars of my heart that I have been pouring out.
I asked the Father what I should write about today…
I asked the Father today…
The blankness of my pages were not the absence of substance
But my absence of comprehension
I asked the Father today…
What words should fill these eager pages
He showed me the ocean
The repetition of its’ rhythms shouting its’ loyalty to the shore
Yet doesn’t subtract from the originality of each crash
Surging in with all its’ delicate might
I asked the Father today…
He showed me the shadows of His beloved dancing on the wall
With each arm raised to the Heavens
Comes around boulder removed from our shoulders
I cannot decide
Whether I should fall on my face or dance like a child
Both are but a breath
I asked the Father today…
And He showed me a glimpse of His depths
He showed me the array of creation
Shrieking in all His glory
All of it for our eyes to feast on and recognize as love
He showed me the birds eyeing
The fish jumping to get a glimpse
“Has the Bride seen her Bridegroom yet?”
The hands that handcrafted this freewill
Are anxiously awaiting our return
So children come! Come back home
The Father has been peering into your heart and wants to celebrate your surrender
I asked the Father today..
And came to the conclusion of tears
These pages are easily filled with praise
My glass jar
Your presence dwells in these empty walls
You are too big for my human jar of comprehension
I try to squish, squeeze and stuff you
Just so I can feel like I can grasp it
Wrap my little fingers all the way around it
Kept it in my back pocket
So I can finally announce my victory
To claim I understand
That I have conquered the intangible
Yet you look at me
Without disappointment, you say
“Child, you are like an ant trying to summit a mountain range
You reach the top of a pebble and have the audacity to shout
‘Look Father! Have I summited?’
“Small child, your striving footsteps are meaningless
I never asked you to summit
I asked you to dance”
I cannot understand it
I cannot conquer it
I cannot summit it
I can only dance in the incomprehensible
Learning and discovering and then relearning and rediscovering
More of Your love and power
Thank you that you don’t fit into my jar
Freedom
Your promises are abundance
And that abundance begins with freedom
Freedom that is defined as our empty hands offering a simple surrender
You dwell in my darkest places
Places I am too afraid to peak into
The crevasses collecting dust from my negligence of truth
My walk was heavy
And exhaustion was easy
Until I looked behind me
I was carrying a pack of boulders
I couldn’t remove them
they were too painful to look at
But He didn’t promise that Freedom wasn’t painful
So I sob as I take out each boulder
My vision gets blurry and my hands become bloody
As I try and scrub each rock clean
with my own hands
Again the Father stops me
He takes my bloody hands and drowns it in His Blood
Without disappointment, He wipes every tear and shows me:
Just as I cannot decide the duration of each tree’s life
Or just as I cannot determine the width of each raindrop on my skin
Nor measure the depths of universe
My hands cannot cleanse these boulders
He whispered:
“Leave the boulders at my feet
You cannot carry them
You cannot clean them
So rest child, take my hand and come this way
For my burden is light and my yoke is easy”
What a divine dichotomy!
My hands can neither destroy nor justify
My hands cannot earn nor drive away
For my freedom is purchased through the Blood
And not through my toil
Thanks for reading my plethora of thoughts and words. Every view and comment doesn’t go unnoticed and unappreciated. Thank you so much for sharing a part of my heart with me. Your support is a treasure to me. I love you.
Elina, your words are powerful because they’re from Him. Thanks for having open hands to receive what He speaks to you. Dripping purity. Love you
I love poetry and love seeing people writing it and sharing it as you have done here, Elina. You have a gift. Please keep sharing it, this is really good stuff!
Thank you for sharing your heart in these poems. “My glass jar” spoke the most to me; especially these words:
“Child, you are like an ant trying to summit a mountain range
You reach the top of a pebble and have the audacity to shout
‘Look Father! Have I summited?’
“Small child, your striving footsteps are meaningless
I never asked you to summit
I asked you to dance”
WOW!!! Can’t wait to see you soon:)!!!
Wow Elina – I knew you were a talented writer, but never have I read such powerful poetry that flows from your heart in a seemingly effortless way filled with imagery, passion, depth and reflection. I am so moved.
I love reading your poems! The glass jar…., the images, the truth, the incomprehensible and divine, brought closer by your words. Love you 🙂
Well written and very profound your poetry allows a glimpse into your soul.
It reminds me of one of my favorite poems by Khalil Gibran which I would love to share with you when you return.
So descriptive, relatable, and inspiring. You steward your gift of writing & sharing so well and I am beyond proud of you.